Sex in South Carolina

In their determination to hang on to the governor's seat, the old-school corruptocrats of the South Carolina GOP have decided they'd sooner drag the whole state down into the gutter than to allow a brown-skinned female reformer to introduce representative democracy to the Palmetto State. So for the last two weeks, we've been subjected to endless speculation about unsubstantiated allegations about Nikki Haley's sex life.

I'm not sure if all this gossip and speculation has been helpful, but now that we're in the gutter, I think it's important that we explore the sex lives of all the candidates.

Good for the goose...good for the ganders.

Let's start with 40 year-old confirmed bachelor, André Bauer.

Blogger Mike Rogers is the gay blogger who outed Sen. Larry Craig (R-Idaho) and Rep. Mark Foley (R-Fla.). Back in August, after a thorough investigation, Rogers reported confirmation of André Bauer's closeted homosexuality.

In a highly sympathetic interview, when asked about the debate over his sex preferences, André Bauer said that the topic is an inappropriate one: "I don’t think it’s a proper question. I think it’s a little bit ridiculous and it’s sad that politics has gotten to that."

In light of Mike Rogers's report, and reports cited by the New York Times, doubts about André's sex life persist. But André has come with a very interesting proposal for addressing the controversies that swirl around the GOP gubernatorial primary: polygraph tests.

So how about it André? Let's end the speculation about your closet homosexuality. Sit for a lie detector test today.

To quote André Bauer himself, "Somebody needs to put the interests of the people of South Carolina before their own."

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Bauer says he's not a homosexual. But does he have (or has he had) physical relationships with men? Bring in the lie detector.

Update (6-7-10):

Bauer had previously told WCSC in Charleston that he would "absolutely" take a polygraph about his own rumored sexual history, as he has asked Haley to do. No questions about that subject were included in Bauer's polygraph exam, however.