Saturday, March 21, 2009

How To Tick People Off

  • Leave the copy machine set to enlarge 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies.
  • Practice making fax and modem noises.
  • Staple pages in the middle of the page.
  • Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints at the cash register.
  • TYPE ONLY IN UPPERCASE.
  • type only in lowercase.
  • dont use any punctuation either
  • Ask people what gender they are.
  • While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.
  • Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
  • Sing along at the opera.

4 comments:

Clay Bowler said...

Modem noises, what are modem noises? Doesn't your modem sit in a museum next to your Timex Sinclair 1000, Vic 20,and Commodore 64?

Jessica said...

CB: Yes I do believe the last modem sound was heard just about the same time T Rex gave up the ghost.

Jean said...

I have "talked" about using the blow dryer technique. We live down the street from the elementary school and the mothers (mostly) drive like maniacs with children in the vehicles and as children and parents are walking. Do you think I could "fool" them into thinking it was a radar gun?

Love your suggestions! Will this be an occasional additive?

RightKlik said...

Jean: It just might work...who knows? Somebody might try to get you in trouble though.

I found the suggestions on StumbleUpon. I might continue to use StumbleUpon as a source for blog post inspiration.