Showing posts with label Al Franken. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Al Franken. Show all posts

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Liberal Hall of Shame


Using sophisticated methods of analysis* and cutting edge scientific instruments, RightKlik has compiled the authoritative list of the very most shameful, disgusting, annoying and despicable liberals in the world.

Some important liberals were excluded (or only made it to the Dishonorable Mention list) because they have faded from the spotlight or are so incompetent in their evil machinations that they have been ostracized from the Democratic party.  Dead liberals were also excluded.

Dishonorable Mention 

Rod Blagojevich, Eliot Spitzer, John Edwards, Keith Olbermann, Bill Clinton, Planned Parenthood, Cindy Sheehan, Jimmy Carter, Arianna Huffington, and Chris Matthews.

Runners up

Maureen Dowd:  Cynical and obnoxious columnist for the New York Times.  In some ways like a liberal Ann Coulter, but not as successful. Influence: 9, Contemptibility Index: 7, Annoyance Level: 99%.

Joe Biden:  They call him the Gaffe-o-Matic, but the biggest problem with his "gaffes" is that they are often based in painful, inconvenient truth.  I have three words for Biden: Shut up!  Influence: 1, Contemptibility Index: 7, Annoyance Level: 75%, ACU Rating: 0.

Chuck Schumer: Windbag of extra-ordinary windiness. Influence: 12, Contemptibility Index: 9, Annoyance Level: 98%, ACU Rating: 0.

Dennis Kucinich:  He's an idiot who publically professes his belief in UFOs, and he's a bit to the left Perez Hilton, but he's funny and not very annoying, so he's only on the runners up list.  Influence: 2, Contemptibility Index: 2, Annoyance Level: 55%, ACU Rating: 4.

Liberal Hall of Shame

10)  Rep. John Murtha (Pennsylvania): Murtha abides by a very prudent principleif he doesn't have anything derogatory to say, he doesn't say anything at all.  As a clever politician and consummate professional, his most incendiary remarks are about his own constituents, e.g., "There is no question that western Pennsylvania is a racist area."  Influence: 10, Contemptibility Index: 10, Annoyance level: 99%, ACU Rating: 8.

9)  Al Franken:  an immature, profane, and obnoxious jerk who gets off on grinding on people's nerves.  Now he's one sneeze away from becoming a Senator. Influence: 10, Contemptibility Index: 10, Annoyance Level: 100%.

8)  Tom Daschle: Senate Majority Leader for thirteen days, Tom Daschle was eventually sent back home to South Dakota after he became known as the "chief obstructionist".  Now that he's your health care czar and government-run health care is a virtual inevitability, Tom Daschle will be making decisions about everything from your pap smear and your prostate exam to your neurosurgeon and your MRI.  Influence: 14, Contemptibility Index: 8, Annoyance level: 99%, ACU Rating: 16.

7)  Michael Moore: Fat slob, liar, creep.  Influence: 12, Contemptibility Index: 10, Annoyance level: 100%

6)  Harry Reid:  Senate majority leader and the voice of reason and sunny optimism, Harry Reid is never distracted by thoughts about the long term (like next week).  Harry speaking about the surge in Iraq: "I believe...that this war is lost, and this surge is not accomplishing anything, as is shown by the extreme violence in Iraq this week."  Harry speaking about the delay in coming up with an auto bailout bill: "I dread looking at Wall Street tomorrow. It's not going to be a pleasant sight."  [emphais mine] Influence: 17, Contemptibility Index: 8, Annoyance level: 94%, ACU Rating: 0.

5)  Barney Frank:  Still an influential member of Congress despite the fact that while serving in Congress, he paid $80 for sex with Steve Gobie, a man who eventually shacked up with Barney and brought clients into Barney's apartment.  Not content to live the quiet life of a simple whoremonger, Barney has positioned himself to become one of the most dangerous congressmen of all time. Barney is at the center of our current economic implosionin factBarney's fingerprints are all over the financial fiasco.  Influence: 15, Contemptibility Index: 10, Annoyance level: 90%, ACU Rating: 0.

4)  Nancy Pelosi:  San Fran Nan has been such a horrible Speaker of the House that she has led the Democratic Congress to its lowest approval rating in HISTORY. Influence: 18, Contemptibility Index: 9, Annoyance level: 96%, ACU Rating 0.

3)  Hillary Clinton:  Soon to be fourth in the presidential line of succession, Hillary is the nightmare that won't end.  Influence: 18, Contemptibility Index: 9, Annoyance level: 99%, ACU Rating: 0.

2)  George Soros:  The puppet master of the Democratic Party, Soros represents all that is evil in the world of evil leftists.  He's the liberal billionaire equivalent of Karl Rove and Dick Cheney rolled into one inconspicuous but extremely evil package.  Influence: 20, Contemptibility Index: 9, Annoyance level 60%.

1)  Barack Obama:  Soon to be crowned the Global King of All Liberals, Obama is a deadly combination of Bill Clinton, Jimmy Carter and FDR.  Influence: 20, Contemptibility Index: 6, Annoyance level: 95%, ACU Rating: 7.


*Liberal Shame was calculated using the following formula, where is shame, i is influence, A is annoyance level, r is ACU Rating, and c is the contemptibility index:

Reference Ranges: influence (1-20 units), annoyance level (0-100%), contemptibility index (0-10 units), ACU ratingwhere applicable (0-100)   


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Tuesday, January 6, 2009

An Inconvenient Environment


You're an environmentally responsible individual, so you do your best to live greenly and leave a small carbon footprint.  But making green decisions isn't always easy. Is it greener to walk, ride or bicycle or take the bus? Should you use traditional diapers or disposables?  Should you use paper or plastic?  Are you helping the environment when you plant a tree?  Think you know the answers?  Don't be so sure...you may not be as environmentally intelligent as you think.

Don't worry, RightKlik is here to help.  Let's get to the heart of the matter.  Environmental responsibility boils down to one thing: reducing your carbon footprint.  In the U.S. we produce about 7.5 tons of carbon per human being per year.  So what's good for the environment and what's bad?  Glad you asked:
  • Bad: Having children.  Another kid, another 7.5 tons of carbon per year.
  • Good: Abortions.  Fewer kids, less carbon.
  • Bad: Heterosexual marriage.  An ill-conceived institution that leads to increased carbon production through human population growth.
  • Good: Traffic accidents.  Destroying carbon-belching automobiles and their human drivers simultaneously...what could be better?
  • Bad: Health care.  Longer life equates to more carbon emissions.  Universal health care will be one of the biggest environmental tragedies of all time.
  • Good: Hurricanes.  Kills people, destroys their communities, and shuts down local economies...a big win for the environment.
Human beings are the number one source of man-made carbon emissions.  Want to get serious about reducing carbon emissions?  Drop dead!  Literally.  I'm not kidding.


Interesting Links: A Jumbo Pack!

Global cooling, global warming, pesticides, alar on apples, falling sperm counts from endocrine disrupters, cancer from power lines, cancer from saccharine, cancer from cell phones, cancer from computer screens, cancer from food coloring, hair spray, electric razors, electric blankets, coffee, chlorinated water…it never seems to end!  A good article for the worriers, hypchondriacs and environmental alarmists in your life. 

A new spin on centrifugal force.

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Obama: We Must Act Now. Obama Tries to Build Bipartisan Support for Stimulus.  Everything comes with a price, Obama.  How much will our children pay for your ambitions? 

Funny Business in Minnesota...In which every dubious ruling seems to help Al Franken.
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Stay childless and save the environment.


Global Swarming: Is it time for Americans to start cutting our baby emissions?

Calculate your impact with Al Gore's carbon calculator.  This is why he invented the Internet.

Walking to the shops ‘damages planet more than going by car’