Confirmed By Science: Christmas is Evil

**UPDATE (12.24.2011): Atheist Pat Condell skewers Michael Schmitt's "cultural masochism."

Looks like the feds were right: Your Christmas decorations are tearing apart our diverse society. Don't take my word for it; a leftist professor from Simon Fraser University has scientific evidence to prove that Christmas is evil:

Christmas displays can undermine the psychological well-being of people who do not celebrate the holiday...

“This research demonstrates that the pervasive presence of Christmas displays in December makes people who do not celebrate Christmas feel like they don’t belong, and it harms their emotional well-being,” said SFU associate psychology professor Michael Schmitt.

Who is this Michael Schmitt?

Dr. Michael T. Schmitt runs the the "Self in Social Context Lab" at Simon Fraser University. Schmitt describes his mischief:

The main focus of our research is intergroup relations, collective identity, responses to social inequality, and coping with discrimination... In addition, we work very closely with the Intergroup Relations and Social Justice Lab...

I'm quite impressed by the number of ways in which this effete jackwagon managed to hint, "I'm probably a Marxist who despises traditional Western culture" in one short paragraph.

Dr. Michael T. Schmitt, schmitt@sfu.ca, 778-782-4342

If there's any room for doubt about Schmitt's sentiments, here's a little sample of his work:

• "Racial attitudes in response to thoughts of white privilege" (White folks are evil!)

• "Group-interested responses to patriarchy" (Men are pigs!)

• "The Role of Heterosexual Identity Threat in Differential Support for Same-Sex 'Civil Unions' versus 'Marriages'" (Americans are a pathetic bunch of homophobes!)

• "The effects of Christmas displays on mood, self-esteem, and inclusion." (Christmas is evil!)

To be fair, Michael Schmitt is no "Mr. Grinch." He doesn't want to take away Christmas, he just wants you to hide your tree in a dark closet so that Buddhists, Sikhs and members of other religious groups can feel safe again:

These displays can make people of some cultures feel less included. This is especially important in social spaces where we value inclusion and respect for cultural and religious diversity, such as schools and workplaces. In such contexts, the safest course of action in terms of respecting diversity is to avoid putting up Christmas displays altogether.

"Get thee behind me, Santa! You do not have in mind the things of science and multiculturalism, but the things of oppression and alienation."

Here's an interesting comment from Sikh Philosophy Network:

Quite frankly I think this is absurd. I do not know of any Sikh or Buddhist families that have ever taken offence to other festivals. Most Sikhs I know (ourselves included) have a tree in the house and give out Christmas cards as we believe in sharing and inclusivity in good things. We don't believe in the religious significance but in the wider message of good will and sharing. The government here often makes silly rules for the sake of "not offending" but actually that causes resentment towards Asians so studies like this actually cause divides.

I wonder if Schmitt's Christmas tree was decorated with depictions of white Christians murdering brown Bhuddists and swarthy Sikhs ... just askin'!

Actually, Schmitt's study was a relatively small project in which some Simon Fraser University students were exposed to a 12'' Christmas tree and were asked to document their mood.

I think this study deserves an alternate headline:

"A Few College Students Who Have Been Immersed In An Anti-Western Educational Milieu Have Some Vaguely Conflicted Feelings About Traditional Western Holidays."

In all seriousness, I do believe in demonstrating a reasonable amount of sensitivity with respect to the diverse needs of individuals in our multicultural, omni-gendered society.

To preserve the emotional well-being of those who are not of African descent, we should probably reconsider Black History month. Surely all those TV specials in February make Asians feel less sure about themselves.

While we're at it, we probably need to take Thor's days off the calendar. For those of us who aren't comfortable with the old Norse religion, weekly reminders of the intimidating god of thunder can be very disquieting. If we'd simply call Thursday "fifth day," Quakers would be especially appreciative.

I'd also propose that we should tone down the ubiquitous presence of women's health symbology. Think for a moment about the self-esteem of the victims of prostate cancer and erectile dysfunction. What are their symbols of love and support?

Update I: A commenter says that the SFU study should be taken with a grain of salt...

Pay no attention to anything from Simon Frasier. Its a hellhole amongst leftist hellholes... has been for decades.

Update II:

"And that's why yellow Christmas makes me sad, I think."

Update III:

Christmas Trees Not So Harmless...

We’ve always had a Christmas Tree in our department common room and we have thought of it as harmless. Perhaps it’s time to reconsider.

*Snort*

Exit thought: I wonder what Dr. Schmitt thinks about the feelings of emotional well-being that will inevitably be generated by the Ground Zero Mosque.

Update IV:

The intolerance of diversity...

Discussion at Memeorandum